Lately, I’ve been a pretty unhappy with my singleness. I’ve seen friends begin to start new relationships, and as happy as I am for them, I can’t help but feel a little jealous. I always thought I would be married or at least in a serious relationship at this point in my life. As I’ve mentioned before I struggle a lot with anxiety, thinking in the future and planning my life out. Boy, what a wild ride the last few years have been, and God has taught me a lot along the way that His plans are always greater.
I joined an online dating site with my roommate a few weeks back, and starting talking to a few guys. Some were really nice, and others…
well, they were the typical type guys you might find on these free dating sites. Nothing really came of any of these conversations, but in all honesty, I’m not sure if I wanted something to happen or not. I started to pray over why I had joined in the first place, and I began a daily prayer for my future spouse. (I took Bailee Barber’s post and customized it to fit my personality, wants, needs, and wishes.)
After a few days of this, it hit me like a ton of bricks that I was only doing this because I was trying to take matters into my own hands, instead of trusting in God’s perfect timing. I started a journal, and I pray over these items on my list nightly, and continue to add more. One night, I read a blog post by Grace Valentine (go follow her if you haven’t!) and it confirmed my feelings of doubt about my intentions. I should be fully enjoying this season of singleness, and not filling it with anger or annoyance. God’s timing is always perfect, and I need to learn to trust that to the fullest!